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I’m an avid fan of zombie movies and games, even if zombies have become such a cliché I like to think I started liking them before that happened. For the past five years, I’ve followed the development of Dead Island, which was at first described to be a survival horror role-playing game with zombies focusing more on melee combat since guns and ammunition is hard to come by on a tropical island. I was instantly interested in it and began raking through gaming websites for information regarding Dead Island.

For quite a few of the years, nothing was told about the game and I was beginning to think it had become vaporware. Then, not too long ago Techland, its developer started trickling bits and pieces of info about Dead Island. They opened the game’s website that had been ‘under development’ for years. Then came more pictures, then the somewhat controversial teaser trailer that I’m pretty sure most of us has seen. Then Monday, the fifth of September 2011, pre-release reviews started popping up all around the internet.

And I felt devastated. I had this fear that had been gnawing at me ever since I saw the first gameplay videos. Dead Island is not a survival horror role-playing game with zombies. Oh no, no no no. What Dead Island is, is in essence Borderlands, but with zombies. And the emotional style of the teaser? Gone. Make way for a more light-hearted romp through an island paradise infested with zombies.

Machetes with an electric current running through them? Scores? What is this, Dead Rising? Let’s not forget, should you find an abandoned briefcase and you find, say, a weapon therein, YOU HAVE TO PAY IN-GAME MONEY TO GET THE WEAPON FROM THE A B A N D O N E D BRIEFCASE. Disregard that last one. It is not true. But it could have been.

I’m sorry, but what the fuck is this shit? I didn’t wait for so many years for this! I wanted what they originally said it would be, not this arcade piece of shit! Is it so hard to make a zombie survival role-playing game?

Of course, that’s not all. If you’ve played Call of Juarez, another game by Techland, you know that the game had this feel of a low production budget. Call of Juarez was a cool game, don’t get me wrong, but this?

No. Just no.

Well, the silver lining is that at least Space Marine seemed good, I played the demo on both the 360 and PC. And while I think it’s absolutely stupid when they decided that Space Marines don’t need cover, I still like it. It’s a Warhammer40k game, the setting alone will make it good. But Relic should try playing the table-top game and not take cover, then we’ll see. And besides, two weeks and I’ll be playing Gears of War 3, unless it betrays me like Halo: Reach did.

P.S. When Dead Island was released on Tuesday, they accidentally released a developer version through Steam. Way to go.

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