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Let me get one thing straight. I do not think Bethesda makes extraordinary games. They make games you play for a hundred hours for a reason I can’t explain. Can you really say Fallout 3 or, god forbid, Oblivion is good. They’re bland. Fallout 3’s map is just a square filled with nothing while Oblivion is nothing but a forest filled to the brim, the absolute fucking brim, with ancient ruins and you never get anything worthwhile from them, thanks to chests locked down better than the vault in Die Hard that contain only two gold coins and a ball of yarn. Enemies are dumb and so is the plot. In both games mind you. There are only as many weapons as there are tiers and magical weapons are just your stock steel swords with a blue shader on it. Spells have only a handful of visual effects. Speaking of visuals, both games look like ass. Characters are some form of humanoid life-forms and your own character is the king of the freaks, thanks to the character editor. I could go on, but this is not about how those games aren’t as good as people say. And to say a game is good because it can be modded, I know there are good mods out there that make even Oblivion fun, but that is not a point in its favour in any shape, form or size.

This is about how I fear Skyrim will not be any different.

The game opens up and you are a prisoner, again. Nice to see Bethesda trying something new. You see that the game looks like Oblivion/Fallout 3. That is not a good sign. There’s a lot of jabberwocky before you get to move. Now you’ve got to dodge Puff the Magic Dragon and finally, finally you get to kill. And it’s not any different from Oblivion. I hacked my Stormcloak friends to bits with my axe/mace combo before the doggone Imperials set their sights on me. Oh shit, that guy’s swinging his sword! Block, block you damn reptilian, block! No, don’t do a power attack! Oh, he’s dead. Damn Imperials, always trying to oppress… wait. I can’t block while dual wielding. That is bullshit. Oh, I got spells? Cool, I can throw fire from both hands.

Basically that’s all you need to know about this game. It’s Oblivion, maybe Oblivion +1.

Have fun.


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